We live in a world where we all make superficial decisions. It could be that these decisions are based on evidence, facts, emotions, or fabrications. Think “I could just die for that chocolate bar”.
The superficial decisions affect our lives and sometimes as a coach, we need to hold a space for our clients to explore what could appear to be a deep-rooted superficial opinion.
The model is a simple one to follow, although as a coach, we need to be totally focussed on the client. I have found that taking notes during the questioning phase of this model can create a barrier, so my advice is to stay totally present for the client without notes.
We layer the question ‘why?’ as the coachee starts to explain more about the situation.
Coach : What do you want to think about today?
Coachee : I would like to explore why I am getting passed over for promotions within my workplace.
Coach : Why do you think you are being passed over for promotions in your workplace? (1)
Coachee : To be honest, I don’t know. Perhaps it could be because I am a bit too honest about certain situations.
Coach : Why do you say you are too honest about situations (2)?
Coachee : Good question, it really riles me when some of the facts about events are overlooked to benefit the favoured ones and I just need to say something.
Coach : Why do feel that facts are being overlooked to benefit others. (3)?
Coachee : I guess it is because I am jealous of the way that they are treated better than I am (long pause)…. I just want to be recognised for what I do.
Coach : Why do you want to be recognised for what you do (4)?
Coachee : I feel undervalued. I dont think that they know what I do here to make stuff happen.
Coach : Why do you feel undervalued? (5)
Coachee : Because I am not appreciated and I need to be appreciated.
Coach : Why do you need to feel appreciated? (6)
Coachee: I need security in my job.
Coach : Why do you need security in your job? (7)
Coachee : I am the main breadwinner at home. I need to earn money to feed my family and keep the mortgage paid.
Coach : Ah, so just to summarise, you feel that you are passed over for promotion, and a clear driver of this is that you need security in your job because you are the main breadwinner and money generator for your family?
Coachee : Yes
Coach : If we are to think about this in a different way, lets think about how we can think of this in a slightly different way. What needs to happen to start helping you feel more secure in your job?
Coachee : I need to understand that I am adding value to the job and that I am recognised for doing this.
Coach : .. and how are you going to do that?